Often described by people suffering from anxiety is a feeling of spiraling out of control within their own minds, a carpet getting ripped out from under them. 

Living in the twenty-first century, anxiety has become a feeling all too familiar for all of us. The events that transpired over this past year have of course added to the mental strain we all endure on a daily basis. Anxiety trends in the past 10 years have notably increased, especially in young adults.¹ Undoubtably, this also has to do with society's progression in technology, and the way our brains are receiving data at a faster rate than ever before. Is the future of human experience doomed to be shrouded in unease?

The subjects of my paintings depict different aspects of the anxiety I feel, my coping habits, the feeling of spiraling, and the way my surroundings affect me. I experiment with oil paint, thickly layered and splotched in messy ways. The relationship between stepping back from a representational piece, and then getting in close to see visible brush strokes interests me. I utilize pattern and repetition with my spiral motif throughout all of my paintings. Each spiral creates a rhythm to get lost in—a portal to another plane—and is portrayed in a unique way. I use variety as a tool in my pieces to hold the viewer's attention, and provide interesting elements. I mess with the proportions of things to create the feeling of a false reality, like something is not quite right. All my elements aim to add to the feeling of unrest and slight discomfort. A sense of dizzying movement is also created, much like Bridget Riley’s “Blaze 1,” where zigzagging black and white lines create the illusion of vibration.²

The functional aspect of my work, specifically with my quilt, serves to aid me with my themes and ideas. The quilt I crafted using canvas and fabric paint is created out of a contradictory sense of comfort, with an overwhelming pattern that is meant to put a pit in your stomach. I noticed that I tend to use my anxiety as a safety blanket, a weird coping mechanism, as my way of “controlling” the uncontrollable events in my life. The feeling is not good, but it is familiar, and that familiarity grounds me. The fabric paint patches, obsessive and messy, symbolize the way I mull over the same thing so many times, leading me nowhere. The function of the blanket is to be wrapped around you; but I take away its function by placing it on the wall. I don’t want the viewer to participate in the act of wrapping themselves up; it is not the point. The quilt hangs like a pelt, a testament to my experience. It sits like a trophy, and by creating the object, I have in some way conquered the beast.

1. Goodwin, Renee D, et al. “Trends in Anxiety among Adults in the United States, 2008-2018: Rapid Increases among Young Adults.” Journal of Psychiatric Research, Elsevier Ltd., 21 Aug. 2020, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7441973/.

2. Blaze 1. (n.d.). Retrieved April 12, 2021, from https://www.nationalgalleries.org/art-and-artists/159569/blaze-1.